As the title, oh so nonchalantly suggests, my book will be released into the world in less than a month, on April 17!
And I'm all kinds of nervous.
As an author prepares for her first book to be birthed into the ether, peeking out behind her fingers as it takes on its own life, there are so many things that she feels and thinks and obsesses about.
Yes, there are questions like: Will it be well-received? Will people hate it? Will they love it? Will anyone read it or will it just be reabsorbed into the universe of paper and ink that no one cares about?
But the kind of book I've written also has other questions attached to it: Will the people I write about be angry with me? Have I represented them fairly?
I'll soon find out.
Mystics and Misfits took me a year or so to write. In the midst of writing it, I found out I was pregnant, I had that sweet baby, I lost my father to cancer, we left behind friends as we moved states and jobs and schools and had more joys and challenges than I can write here. The book was therapeutic but also incredibly painful to write. I spent hours in a study room at the library, weeping, hoping no one would look through the glass and wonder what was wrong with me.
I guess, then, after all that went into writing it, I wasn't too surprised that a friend told me that when she started reading my book, she felt as though she were reading my journal. I was so encouraged by that because I hoped to be as honest as I could with my experiences.
But it also hit me that all of my readers would be peering into parts of my soul. Writing my own book has made me long to be kinder about other books I've read that haven't necessarily resonated with me. It takes a good deal out of you (or if it doesn't, it should) to write your own story. So, now and then, I have to take a few deep breaths and be thankful that I'm not sitting with my readers as they read my book.
Don't we often read in hopes to find that we are not alone? I hope that my book resonates with many people. But if it resonates only with you and you recognize something in it that feels true in your own heart, then I will be honored.
In the meantime, you can read some of my most recent pieces. One called Trafficking in Fear is up at Good Letters. The other piece at Christianity Today, encourages us (I'm talking to you Protestants) to ponder Mary, the God-bearer, on the eve of Annunciation Day.